THURSDAY GAME DISCUSSION THREAD

Post your thoughts about the Thursday games in the comments section here. JOHN, MAKE YOUR DAMN PICKS. IF I DON'T SEE ANYTHING BY TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO MOTION FOR ANOTHER DISQUALIFICATION.

WEEK 5 PICKS - Football Jesus. LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR.

Ok ok , so last week didn’t work out so well for the Jeez, so apparently this is my put up or shut up week now and yet again, I haven't learned from my mistakes. Tear. Anyway, this week's nail-biting schedule, it seems, is once more riddled with “they have a team?”s, and “they were good once, right?”s. Jesus. Picking games worth watching this week is about like picking which chick to hit on at a Styx reunion concert, chances are it’s going to be dissapointing and taste a bit like Fanta and Vodka. But once again, for your reading pleasure, The Clown Princes of College Football have come through with 5 games we think should be at least interesting enough to merit getting nothing accomplished and proving your ex-girlfriend right. LET’S GET TO IT!

First off Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech. Now I know some of you out there might be sold on the Hokies and some of you out there may even know what a Hokie is and have a decent explanation for why any sane person would name a team after what I’m guessing is a fucking turkey, BUT! I’m not. Beating up on Duke and North Carolina might have been impressive if it had been on a basketball court but beating them at football makes your squad look about as menacing as the gang of dancers in Micheal Jackson’s “Beat It” video. Now let me refresh you on the certified giant killing machine that is the ramblin’ wreck; Last season, Ball and Johnson took down Auburn and Miami, both of which were road games for the jackets and both of which were, at the time, big top 10 upsets. They also kept it close with Georgia at the end of the season and put up one hell of a fight against Notre Dame (and I bet you if that had been in South Bend the Irish might not have escaped that one) for the season opener. These guys may be confused as to where their stadium is for the rest of the season but when a team with a number in front of their name shows up on the schedule, ESPECIALLY on the road, these guys turn into the badass bastard offspring of Steve McQueen and Dalton from Roadhouse. Did anyone else just get pregnant? I’m going with the dream crushers on this one for a ramblin’ wreck road show to remember. Georgia Tech to win.

Alabama @ Florida. How retarted are Florida fans? Honestly. Did anyone else hear them boo, cheer, and then boo Leak again in his own stadium last week? I’m personally suprised Leak didn’t have a seizure on the sidelines cause’ I felt like I needed to mainline a handfull of adderall just to keep up with Urban Meyer’s “masturbating hummingbird” offense. Now, as a Georgia fan, I’ve seen the ol’ quarterback switcheroo before, but sweet God, for the last half the quarterbacks were switching back and forth so much I was suprised Meyer didn’t just line them up side by side in the backfield and have them thumb wrestle for who got the snap each play. Enter, the Tide...Bama has a great chance of making this two upsets in a row vs. the Gators and here’s why; Including this showdown, Florida has by far one of the most RIDICULOUS 4 game schedules in the history of time ahead of them. LSU comes to the swamp next week, the Gators take a roadtrip to War Eagle territory the next week, and oh yeah, a little thing we like to call the World’s Greatest Cocktail Party against my boys in red after that. A line up like that is sure to shake the concentration of ANY team especially one that looks clumsy and confused on offense at best (I know they put up 19 on the Wildcats but they had a hell of a time doing it). This game will come down to kicking (which should be absolutely hilarious by the way) between the two missed extra points by Florida last week, and the HORRENDOUS showing by Alabama’s kicker against Arkansas. All in all, I think the Gators sleep on the Crimson Tide and get played close until the 4th. Leak won’t let the Tide embarass him for his senior year and figures out a way to pull it out in the end but I don’t think the Gators cover the 13 point spread. Florida to win, Alabama to cover the points.

Ohio State @ Iowa. Everyone knows I can’t resist a good upset pick and so here’s my second for the week. Try as I might, I’m just not buying the Buckeye hype just yet. Although the final scores make them look great, I have YET to see a game where Ohio State wasn’t played uncomfortably close for at least 3 quarters of football. Ohio is headed for trouble if they run into a team that doesn’t make the same 4th quarter defensive breakdowns and ridiculous turnovers as their last couple of competitors have, and if anyone can pull this off, in my opinion, it’s Tate. If Tate can get hot early and open up a lead, I think Troy Smith will turn Reggie Ball, get frustrated and makes way too many mistakes. Iowa toughens up and takes the buckeyes.

Oregon and Arizona St. Arizona St. did me wrong last week, and while I know there’s buzz of an upset brewing, I don’t buy it. Oregon may have won their game with Oklahoma on a bullshit call, but you can’t deny they still played em’ damn close up to that last TD. Fool me once Sun Devils. Oregon to win and cover the spread.

Purdue @ Notre Dame. Jam an icepick in my dick hole. Sigh. This game comes down to one thing and one thing only. Pressure. Anthony Spencer has been a big force for the boilermakers with 5 sacks in their last 4 showings, and Quinn has spent so much time on his back in the last couple games you’d think they recruited him from the receiving end of a Vikings boat party. Purdue has to keep the pressure on Quinn the entire game to make up for their miserable 115th ranked secondary, because as last week showed, the Irish just won’t die no matter what the score is in the 4th quarter. True, Charlie Weis is a gigantic fuckbag but...the Irish take the game and the point spread. I hate myself.

LIGHTNING ROUND. Auburn at South Carolina. If there’s one thing I hate more than picking Steve Spurrier for anything it’s having to pick Tommy Tuberville instead. I can’t even think of a joke for this shit. I hope both sides die. I hope a rip in the fabric of time occurs and a pack of robotic tyrannosauri with flamethrowers for arms completely decimate the stadium and leave nothing but a charred visor and some gay memories of Tommy entering arm in arm with his team. Auburn destroys South Carolina at home and I punch myself in the crotch for 3 hours.
BYU @ TCU. The battle for “Jesus likes us better” bragging rights. Now this is how God intended religious debates be played out. I’m rooting for TCU just because if another Mormon commerical ruins my half-stock during the Hooter’s Swimsuit Competition on ESPN 2, I’m going to have to destroy the entire state of Utah myself. In the end it doesn’t matter who wins because there’ll still be an elderly Jehovah’s Witness army out there shoving Watchtower’s down our throats at halftime. TCU wins and covers.
Georgia wins and covers the spread because the Manning’s have cursed the Ole Miss campus with their presence. California and Oregon St. decide to go to a peace rally instead of play the game and all die when their Anti-Bush march accidentally takes a wrong turn and ends up on the interstate. Cal covers their spread and a bunch of String Cheese Incident fans get too stoned to notice. LSU wins, covers the spread and all 4 of the Miss State fans chip in on a revolver and kill themselves. I’m pickin Miami to win because if they don’t then I’m going to have to stop Caneboy from strapping a lawnmower to his chest and going after Larry Coker Dead Alive style. Jesus christ how many games are we going to talk about here? I feel like I’m taking the SAT. I’m gonna go drop off some lumber. See you next week.

RALPHVIRUS WEEK 5 PICKS

Well, it looks like I'm first up again, so here we go. First off, I want to say that this is written with a heavy heart. I know this is a college football blog, but the passing of Byron Nelson should still be noted here, especially since two of us were frequent visitors of the Augusta National in our youth. Byron Nelson was not only one of the great figures of golf, he was one of the great men of sports. On a day when we have news stories debating whether or not Terrell Owens attempted suicide, we should remember that there were figures who were kind and graceful in their acts both on and off the field/course. Unfortunately, for every Chad Johnson, Terrell Owens, Keyshawn Johnson, Bill Romanowski, and Miami Hurricane and Florida State Seminole graduate, we only have a few figures like Byron Nelson to remind us that there's the possibility that people aren't inherently rotten all the way through. I really am truly and deeply saddened by his death, because it feels that there just aren't enough truly good people out there, so when we lose one, we lose a lot. So pardon if my picks aren't so funny. The world is a much worse place to live in now that one of our true positive heroes is gone. Goodbye Byron. You did what you could, and I, for one, appreciate it. I'll miss you. On to the picks:

1) This game is tearing me up. I think the spread is off by a mile on this one, since the Irish are still picking South Bend grass out of their teeth from the last game they played at home. It seems the oddsmakers want to give the Irish the benefit of some kind of carryover effect from the miracle in East Lansing, but I don't buy it. Yeah, Purdue's defense stinks, and they've faced nobody so far and didn't blow out some of their lesser opponents, but they've put up some pretty serious offensive numbers in those games, and both teams from Michigan exposed the Notre Dame defense as a sham (except in the last 90 seconds of a game) so I'm very interested to see how the Purdue offense exploits Notre Dame's weak secondary. However, Purdue's defense did give up 35 to Indiana State, and though they've settled in a bit, they've not seen anything like the Irish attack this year. Notre Dame wins this one, but Purdue keeps it closer than the 14 point spread.

2) Alabama seems to be getting credit for something I haven't seen in them. I know Florida hasn't looked convincing in their wins so far and Urban Meyer's version of the two quarterback system is laughably simple, but I have a hard time understanding why Florida is getting less than 2 touchdowns in the swamp against a team that just lost to Arkansas, whose quarterback played one of the worst games I've ever seen. The Bama kicker is rattled right now, and outside of Darby, who's having an awful year, I don't know where they go on offense. Their defense is passable, but when have they been tested? On the other hand, Alabama owns Florida in recent years, even when they're having a down year. But I'm sorry, you beat Vandy by a field goal, and I pick against you. Florida rolls in the swamp and easily covers this one, though I hope I'm wrong on this one and in a perfect world, Mike Shula's boys would win by 90 and Shula would take a dump on the gator at midfield and rub Urban Meyer's and Chris Leak's face in it. Probably not gonna happen though.

3) Virginia Tech has not looked very impressive to me so far this year. Their defense and special teams are exceptional, as they always are under Beamer, but I'm not sold on their offense. I don't even know their quarterback's name off-hand, which is usually a bad sign, and now that I think about it, I can't name a single player on either side of the ball for them. A quick look at ESPN.com indicates they're favoring the run this year, which isn't a bad idea with an inexperienced quarterback and swarming defense. As usual, Calvin Johnson and Reggie Ball are the keys to Tech's offense, and unfortunately for them, Virginia Tech's defense is exactly the kind that gives them fits. Reggie's going to be hit all night long on blitzes and probably even on straight rushes, while CJ is going to get pounded off the line of scrimmage and not able to run any timing route effectively, and will be double covered by one each of VT's cadre of exceptional cornerbacks and safeties that they seem to grow in field somewhere in Blacksburg. At Virginia Tech, they roll and win the game and easily cover the spread as Reggie Ball melts down by halftime. I know GT is most dangerous against a great opponent, but I think they look past this one, since they're less than double digit dogs on the road and don't play with that attitude they have as huge underdogs.

4)Ohio State and Iowa. I don't have any idea what to make of this game. Iowa looked awful and needed a miracle goal line stand against lowly Syracuse to eek out a win, but played without their star QB. Tate was shaky against in-state rival Iowa State, but pulled away late for the win and then put up less than 30 points aganist the Illinois defense that I think the 3 of us could pick apart for at least 45. So this explosive offense hasn't materialized for them yet. On the other hand, Ohio State, after dismantling Texas, has struggled for two straight weeks, scoring very late in the fourth quarter on freak INT returns or whatever they did in Cincinnati, so their final scores are all a little misleading. It's almost like they thought if they beat Texas, the championship was just going to be given to them. People thought their offense was going to run every other team out of the stadium with their speed, but aside from the Troy Smith to Ted Ginn connection, there hasn't been a lot of sprinting in Ohio State games. Their leading receiver is the tight end, though Ted Ginn has a sick 5 TDs in 16 rec. If Ohio State plays like they played in Austin, they're unbeatable. If they play like they played in Cincinnati or against Penn State, Iowa can steal this one from them. I think 2 close calls are enough for Tressel, and he reminds his boys that they still have to win every game they play before they'll give the championship to them. I want to take Iowa, but Ohio State pulls this out on the road, and beats the touchdown spread.

5) Oregon and Arizona State. Wow. Oregon is getting no respect for their tarnished win against Oklahoma, despite the fact that they played competitively against what many considered to be a top ten team for that entire game. Arizona State just got their shit handled by a rejuvenated Cal team. I've never seen an Arizona State home game on TV, but I've heard that they almost never sell out, so homefield advantage seems to play into this very little. If it were July and this game were at high noon, then you give the advantage to the team from the desert. It might be hot, yes, but that can't be the reason for this bizarre spread. I want to take Oregon, but I'm nervous about taking road favorites back to back. I thought Arizona State was the upstart team in the Pac-10 before last week, but now I don't know what to make of either team. I'll say Oregon plays with a chip on their shoulder because of the Oklahoma controversy and wins a squeaker, but covers on the road.

FLASH PICKS: Cal beats Oregon State, but Ore. State covers the spread at home. Those Oregon stadiums are tough places to win period, much less win big. LSU clobbers Mississippi State and tightens the noose another notch around Sylvester Croom's neck. I'll be shocked if MSU crosses the 50 yard line. Jamarcus Russell eats bad secondaries for lunch and has a huge game. LSU by at least 40. Michigan only giving 10 at Minnesota? Beware of betting against the home dog, but that line is too juicy to pass up. Michigan wins by 17. Temple and Vanderbilt. I can't believe Vandy is nearly a 5 touchdown favorite to beat anyone, even if it is Temple. Go Commodores! Win and a cover at home to please the 15 fans who showed up. Houston and Miami, oh my goodness, how the mighty have fallen. Miami loses at home and Larry Coker is lynched after the game, hung from the visiting team's uprights and set on fire. Half the players light their joints on the fire, the other half their crack pipes. Kansas State and Baylor, times sure are changing fast in college football. I hope one of the Baylor players or fans found this line and printed it and framed it, because they dont see it too often in a conference game. Hell, I picked Vandy to roll, Baylor wins at home and sends the cheerleaders home happy because most students forgot they had a team.

My pride picks will be in the comments to the original post with the lines. Come with it kids! The Virus has spoken!

WEEK 5 - GAMES AND LINES FOR SATURDAY

Alright boys and girls, let's get ready for another half-assed weekend of games to choose from, and a couple more pride games to chat about. I think it may be best if chat is limited to the comments on this post so we don't clog up the blog too much. Rules the same as before, the favorite is the team with the number beside them and they must score more than that number to cover. The underdog doesn't have to win to beat the spread, just lose by less than the number. Home team listed second, 2 points per game on the line, 1 for picking the winner, 1 for beating the spread. No points for beating the spread for anybody on a push. Ready? GO:

1)Purdue
Notre Dame -14

2)Alabama
Florida -13.5

3)Georgia Tech
Virginia Tech -9

4)Ohio State -7
Iowa

5)Oregon -1
Arizona State

Now, the 3 pride games:

Thursday night (6:00 pm):
BYU
TCU -6

Thursday night (7:30 pm):
Auburn -14
South Carolina

Georgia -18
Ole Miss

And a few more with interesting lines that I'm curious to hear opinions about:

California -9.5
Oregon St.

Mississippi State
LSU -32

Michigan -10
Minnesota

Temple
Vanderbilt -34 (!!!!)

Houston
Miami, FL -16 (AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA)

Kansas St.
Baylor -1.5

Alright kids, fire at will. Picks due by midnight Thursday, and the 2 Thursday game pride picks due before kickoff. And please, everybody take a good look at that Miami line, and also note this may be the first time in my lifetime Baylor has been favored in a conference game, and Vandy is nearly a 5 touchdown favorite!

Anyway, GO!

WEEK 4 in Review - The Virus

Am I the kind of person who gloats when he wins? The kind of person who kicks people when they're down? The kind of person that would piss into your gaping chest wound after I sent a 12 gauge full of buckshot into it? Ordinarily, yes, that pretty much describes me to a T. This week, though, the lesson of the day is humility, and this is the closest I've come to believing in a God in over a decade. I'm watching my back for lightning bolts this week. So here's my 10 points of the week:

1) God almighty Georgia, What. The. Fuck. Seriously. I'm in Boston so I was spared having to watch all but the final 90 seconds of this debacle, but I was about to have a coronary just watching the ESPN ticker. What happened to Stafford? Did Colorado kidnap him, bleach Kordell Stewart white and slip it past the coaches somehow? The ONLY bright spot here is that Cox looked phenomenal. Lighting up the Colorado defense is a little like the Miami Heat lighting up a WNBA team, but there's no doubt that kid pulled a rabbit-shaped miracle out of his ass on Saturday. UGA surivives, and amazingly drops only 1 spot in the standings to #10. Look for more conservative picks next week in the Ole Miss Game.

2) More miracles: BC got absolutely Flutied this week by Chuck Amato's boys down in Carolina. I watched none of this game because I was alternating between seeing if Kentucky could ever get going and seeing Sparty lay a whoopin on the Irish early, so I don't know what the hell happened except what I saw on the highlights. I said before BC tends to play down to the competition, and they did it again, and it finally bit them in the ass. I'm glad BC lost, but hate that I picked them.

3) ND and MSU. I watched the end of this, and I STILL don't know what happened. Every now and then ND seems to do this, where they pull an impossible game out through turnovers and defensive touchdowns. And I think this just solidifies my theory that MSU is controlled by someone with a button or switch somewhere who randomly pushes it to make them unstoppable or terrible. Somehow, amidst all that, the line gets lost that Brady Quinn had 5 TD to 1 INT. He looked worse than that to me, but that's what the numbers say. I'm going to beg that we never use Michigan State again, because if we do, I'm flipping a coin, and that's that.

4) South Carolina - 45, FAU - 6

5) Arkansas had no right winning that game on Saturday. That Bama kicker was 1-4 on FG attempts, including 1 in OT to win, and missed the crucial PAT that allowed Arkansas to win. I just can't see how, at the level of football Alabama plays at, they can have a guy THAT CAN MISS A PAT. Shit, one of the defensive lineman might have been able to kick that one through the uprights. Compounding this was the fact that Megadeth lead singer Dave Mustaine's illegitimate lovechild had one of the worst statistical games I've seen. He made Stafford look like Johnny Fucking Unitas. His line on the day? 7-22, 97 yds, 4.4 yards per attempt, 1TD (in OT), 3INT. That Bama kicker is going to have a hell of a rough week.

6) Ohio State and Penn State. Half the people in the country with money on this one climbed out of the noose in the last 2 minutes while the other half took their place. 2 INT returns for a touchdown in the last 2 minutes of a game should be called something more than a "backdoor cover," like a "holy fucking shit I was about to blow my head off because I bet my rent money on OSU and God reached down from heaven and thumped Morelli in the back of the head hard enough to make him deliver to cover to us." That's just a suggestion. OSU is not nearly as strong as they looked against Texas, struggling with Cincinnati last week (who gave VT a scare this week) and again against PSU. Both games look exactly the same in the box scores: OSU leads, but barely until 4th quarter when they explode for an inexplicable number of points. Iowa has a pretty explosive offense, so I'm curious to see if they let Iowa hang around long enough, because Iowa may be to far in front to catch.

7) Kentucky vs Florida. Kentucky was competitive in this game, but played traditional Kentucky football with stupid penalties, backbreaking turnovers, and about a dozen Rich Brooks hissy fits on the sideline. Chris Leak actually got booed in this one after coming in for a scorching hot Tim Tebow. Leave it to Florida fans to pull a class move like this in Leak's senior season. Tebow has one play he runs, and if he tries that against Auburn, LSU or UGA more than 2 straight times, look for him to be peering at the world through the earhole of his helmet.

8) Michigan looked solid against Wisconsin, but not overwhelming. Mike Hart is a solid back, but not the guy who can take a game over against a good defense. Chad Henne seems to make just enough of the right plays to keep his job, while Mario Manningham is emerging as the best receiver nobody is talking about. 5 TD in his last 2 games, both over 100 yd efforts. We all thought Steve Breaston was going to emerge as the next great Michigan WR, but Manningham is quickly turning into Henne's favorite target, and usually in the the end zone. That Big Blue defense is ferocious, though, and it was the defense and special teams that kept them in this one long enough to pull ahead. Wisconsin had a quick strike on the first drive, and then nothing for 58 minutes. I'm already giddy thinking about a showdown between Michigan and OSU where both are 11-0.

9) Tennessee needed 17 in the 4th quarter to pull away from a Marshall team that just ain't what they used to be. The margin was 9 for much of the second half before Tennessee finally put them away.

10) Az St. vs Cal. I didn't mean to mislead the Jeezy, I was just saying I've been to Berkeley, and that stadium doesn't seem big enough to have a home field advantage. My guess for what happened here is that the Cal players's rectums are still sore from the reaming Tedford gave them after the Tennessee debacle and they want to avoid another at all costs. They've been a team possessed since that loss, and they just took the beat down stick to Dirk's boys up in Berkeley. I was honestly set to pick Arizona State until I heard Dirk was 0-10 in the state of CA, so I figured he'd better be 1 and something before I ever pick in that state. 0-11, but I did think they'd put up more of a fight than that.

QUICK NOTES: Mississippi State gets their first W of the season 16-10 over UAB. Time to discredit UGA's shutout of UAB now. LSU and Auburn both roll over inferior opponents (Tulane and Buffalo respectively), though it took awhile for Auburn to warm up. West Virginia had their lowest rushing output in 6 games against Eastern Carolina and hold on 27-10. Slaton for Heisman? Not looking so good. USC in a dogfight with Arizona, but triumph 20-3, perhaps with the help of the "suspended" pac-10 crew officiating the game. That's right, the crew that screwed brother Bob's Sooners out of the Oregon game were back on the field for Mike Stoops and company at Arizona due to a lack of available officials. PAC-10, get your shit straight! Last one, speaking of Oklahoma, those who thought they might be distracted this week, go stick your head back up your ass. Middle Tennessee State didn't know what hit them as the Sooners serially gang raped MTS to the tune of 59-0.

So on that note, CHEER CHEER FOR OLD NOTRE DAME!

WEEK 4 In Review - Lee Majors

Dramatic reenactment of last night
(after explaining the point system of the blog to a friend watching the 8:00 clock games with me. This conversation occurred with 2:00 left in the BC game and 6:00 left in the ND game)

Friend: "So how are you doing so far?"
Me: "Well unless something absolutely ridiculous happens, I'll be up a point in the standings."
Andddddddd SCENE!

Does anyone want to guess what happened? Anybody? Anybody? That's right, within a matter of 15 minutes I watched what would have been a 6 point advantage shrivel like my balls during a Golden Girls marathon due to some of the most insane football endings I've watched all season. This is no exaggeration, the above statement had not fully left my mouth when NC State and their Joey Buttafuco looking Sopranos reject coach pull a Flutie esque-miracle with 8 count em 8 seconds left on the clock. Someone had their Wheatie enema that morning and it sure wasn't Dougie's boys. But I guess that seemed to be the norm this week, with my own boys learning an important lesson in humility and me learning that apparently they study witchcraft at the University of Colorado. I spent the weekend on the road so what I know of the 3:30 games is limited and honestly I stopped paying attention just long enough to have my crotch punched for the 8:00 games. So here is my, shameful i might add, and extremely quick week in review...sigh

Ohio state 28 - Penn State 6. For the second week in a row Ohio State's deceptive score give them the aura of being bullet proof but anyone who watched that game knows, things are lookin shaky in the horseshoe. Penn State stayed within a possession of the Buckeyes for 4 straight quarters of football, getting blown out in the LAST TWO MINUTES because of two interceptions returned for touchdowns. Hmmmm.... With a road trip to Iowa coming up, i'm not nearly as sold on the invincibility of Troy Smith and his boys. Point being, Jeezy = 2 Virus = 2

Alabama 23 - Arkansas 24 OT. Jesus, when it rains I have no fucking clue what i'm talking about apparently. This "under 20 point combined" game turned out to combine for almost 50 points and ended up in a one point heartbreaker pulled off by the Hogs in OT that still didn't cover the 1.5 point spread. Balls. Jeezy = 1 Virus = 1

Now it gets ugly for my week.
Arizona St. 21 - Cal 49. I told you I didn't know shit about these teams. I went on Virus' advice and then the sneaky sumbitch went for Cal and snatched the point. BUT he also took Arizona St. in the points which, with a seven point spread...yeah...no point. Jeezy = Goose Egg Virus = 1

Boston College 15 - NC State 17. Huh? What? This was the beginning of the end for my night, with two of my picks in the waning moments of the first half, and with BC in the position to kick a field goal to cover the spread giving me a demanding lead in the points, butttttttt apparently stupidity is contagious. We'll get to that next. Instead, Leary decides to go for it on 4th and not risk the unreliable kicker shanking another one and instead opting for running the clock out a bit. Great choice. Except apparently noone saw the pool of goat blood forming by the giant flaming pentagram on the NC State sideline. NC State pulls a last second drive from hell, and takes the game with a 30 or 40 yard "are you shitting me" pass with 8, count em' 8 seconds on the clock. Jeezy = Goose Egg Virus = Goose Egg.

Oh but it don't end there.

Michigan State 37 - ND 40. WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!! Ok yeah you can give me the bullshit about Brady's drive and determination but I'm not giving the game to him, because even with the comeback looming, Michigan State could and SHOULD have been able to hold off the Irish for long enough to enjoy their then 16 point lead. Especially when a failed 2 point conversion still leaves you with 10. A ridiculous turnover and a botched extra point still gives you a 4 point lead. Until shortly after. And I'm not even sure how to put this insane nail in the coffin into words... Some jackass in the back field, catches the kickoff for the spartans, takes it two yards to about the 12. And downs it. And by down it I don't mean he slips and falls or botches the catch and has to jump on it, no he old school, will you marry me, one knee, DOWNS IT. ON THE FUCKING 12!!!!! With at least 5 to 10 yards open ahead of you and your team struggling to hold on to a 4 point lead late in the fourth. HE. DOWNS. IT. I'll give you guys a second. And that's the night the lights went out in East Lansing. Two plays later and Stanton's decision making went out the window, sending a quick turnover to lose the lead, and then another (granted that wasn't his fault as much as it was a phenomenon of nature that still baffles me) to seal the game. But...with the point spread being 3, It seems like Ralphie hits the push, but nails the team. God I hate Charlie Weis... Jeezy = goose egg Virus = 1

So, what looked like I was going to take a one or two point edge, turned into a laughable 4 minutes of heartbreaking football that officially ceased my ability to create competent sperm. Or maybe that really is the high life. Anyway here are the standings as I have em'.

Virus = 5
Jeezy = 3
Cane = 0

Since it's sunday, i'm going to go chug some motor oil and hope that the NFL will be less brain-numbing to watch. See you next week.