Long ago, when dragons that spit lasers roamed the lands, Steve Perry rode pterodactyls made of knives through righteous lightning storms, and Nebraska wasn’t a laughable football program, two brothers were immaculately conceived in an 81 Datsun in the shadow of Sanford Stadium with one destiny: to return football commentary to its old form; obsessive, cruel, full of errors, and substance abuse and dick jokes. And there's John who's a Miami fan, so we were surprised he could even spell.

Friday, November 10, 2006

WEEK WHATEVER POINTS AND SHIT...WE'RE BACK!!!!!!!

DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK FOLKS, whiskey and gatorade is back on the blogwaves after a minor set back that forced us to miss a couple weeks of good clean blackout, fall down and break a coffee table, football excitement. Since I know everyone has been floating through their meaningless existence aimlessly since we last reported, I wont hold you up any longer. LET'S GET TO IT...as the kids say.

Scores for week 8:

Georgia Tech @ Clemson...Jesus, I don't even remember most of this game. I do seem to remember an absolute old fashioned facepunching by the Tigers that took the spread and punished it like a prison-house bitch though. Virus swings into the lead with this call and my faith in any team in Georgia has once again been stomped a new special-hole.
Virus - 2
FJ - 1

Texas @ Nebraska...A squeaker in cornhole country that suprised us both and probably caused a riot at some trailerpark in tornado alley. Who cares.
Virus - 1
FJ - 1

Iowa @ Michigan...Like I was born to do it, I had another 4th quarter cover destroyed and thrown back in my face AND received yet another kick in the balls by Georgia's new lackluster cousin to the north, Iowa. If I had the ability to care anymore, I'd probably go on a tangent about how badly Drew Tate needs to hurry up his Bledsoe-esque, "I fall down a lot" NFL Career so we can all move on from this debacle of a team. But I don't and I won't.
Virus - 2
FJ - 1

Alabama @ Tennessee...Goddamn I hate Phil Fulmer. If I ever develop a third-world flourescent ass wart I'm pretty sure I'll name it Phil Fulmer. And hit it with things. Anyway. The one time I ACTUALLY bet on these cocksuckers and they find a way to pull one of the sorriest performances in their home stadium this season. Well at least I wasn't alone in this one. Like a Tequila-fueled sexual encounter, Phil Fulmer still manages to find a way to turn enthusiasm and excitement into an awkward and generally disappointing performance.

Virus - 1
FJ - 1

Rutgers @ Pitt...That's right, THE ONLY good part of my entire week happened to be at the hands of a couple Jersey kids. And people say that state isn't worth shit. I mean I say it too but that's not the point, THE POINT, is that Rutgers pulls the upset on Pitt and lands me in yet another tie with the pointmastergeneral Ralph Virus.

Virus - Goose Egg
FJ - 2

This weeks points areeeee:
Virus - 6
FJ - 6
Severely Caned - Are you serious?

Skins:
Virus - 4
FJ - 3
Severely Caned - Whatever.

TOTAL POINTS
Virus - 29
FJ - 27
SC - 10

As you can see it will take a Keanu-Reeves-Oscar-type-miracle for the Miami boy too come close in this one which is exactly why we've decided, that since the season is spiralling to a close and two weeks have gone undocumented for W&J, that bowl season this year will be DOUBLE OR NOTHING. That's right, the points will fly and anyone and everyone has a decent shot of closing the gap this December. But until then, there's still two more weeks of regular season football, and you can bet that we're back in the mix, drink in hand, to bring you all the greatest football commentary and lude and juvenile dick jokes. Abandon your friends, sleep with your girlfriend's best friend, grab a drink, an join us...you useless fuck.

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!