RALPHVIRUS WEEK 5 PICKS

Well, it looks like I'm first up again, so here we go. First off, I want to say that this is written with a heavy heart. I know this is a college football blog, but the passing of Byron Nelson should still be noted here, especially since two of us were frequent visitors of the Augusta National in our youth. Byron Nelson was not only one of the great figures of golf, he was one of the great men of sports. On a day when we have news stories debating whether or not Terrell Owens attempted suicide, we should remember that there were figures who were kind and graceful in their acts both on and off the field/course. Unfortunately, for every Chad Johnson, Terrell Owens, Keyshawn Johnson, Bill Romanowski, and Miami Hurricane and Florida State Seminole graduate, we only have a few figures like Byron Nelson to remind us that there's the possibility that people aren't inherently rotten all the way through. I really am truly and deeply saddened by his death, because it feels that there just aren't enough truly good people out there, so when we lose one, we lose a lot. So pardon if my picks aren't so funny. The world is a much worse place to live in now that one of our true positive heroes is gone. Goodbye Byron. You did what you could, and I, for one, appreciate it. I'll miss you. On to the picks:

1) This game is tearing me up. I think the spread is off by a mile on this one, since the Irish are still picking South Bend grass out of their teeth from the last game they played at home. It seems the oddsmakers want to give the Irish the benefit of some kind of carryover effect from the miracle in East Lansing, but I don't buy it. Yeah, Purdue's defense stinks, and they've faced nobody so far and didn't blow out some of their lesser opponents, but they've put up some pretty serious offensive numbers in those games, and both teams from Michigan exposed the Notre Dame defense as a sham (except in the last 90 seconds of a game) so I'm very interested to see how the Purdue offense exploits Notre Dame's weak secondary. However, Purdue's defense did give up 35 to Indiana State, and though they've settled in a bit, they've not seen anything like the Irish attack this year. Notre Dame wins this one, but Purdue keeps it closer than the 14 point spread.

2) Alabama seems to be getting credit for something I haven't seen in them. I know Florida hasn't looked convincing in their wins so far and Urban Meyer's version of the two quarterback system is laughably simple, but I have a hard time understanding why Florida is getting less than 2 touchdowns in the swamp against a team that just lost to Arkansas, whose quarterback played one of the worst games I've ever seen. The Bama kicker is rattled right now, and outside of Darby, who's having an awful year, I don't know where they go on offense. Their defense is passable, but when have they been tested? On the other hand, Alabama owns Florida in recent years, even when they're having a down year. But I'm sorry, you beat Vandy by a field goal, and I pick against you. Florida rolls in the swamp and easily covers this one, though I hope I'm wrong on this one and in a perfect world, Mike Shula's boys would win by 90 and Shula would take a dump on the gator at midfield and rub Urban Meyer's and Chris Leak's face in it. Probably not gonna happen though.

3) Virginia Tech has not looked very impressive to me so far this year. Their defense and special teams are exceptional, as they always are under Beamer, but I'm not sold on their offense. I don't even know their quarterback's name off-hand, which is usually a bad sign, and now that I think about it, I can't name a single player on either side of the ball for them. A quick look at ESPN.com indicates they're favoring the run this year, which isn't a bad idea with an inexperienced quarterback and swarming defense. As usual, Calvin Johnson and Reggie Ball are the keys to Tech's offense, and unfortunately for them, Virginia Tech's defense is exactly the kind that gives them fits. Reggie's going to be hit all night long on blitzes and probably even on straight rushes, while CJ is going to get pounded off the line of scrimmage and not able to run any timing route effectively, and will be double covered by one each of VT's cadre of exceptional cornerbacks and safeties that they seem to grow in field somewhere in Blacksburg. At Virginia Tech, they roll and win the game and easily cover the spread as Reggie Ball melts down by halftime. I know GT is most dangerous against a great opponent, but I think they look past this one, since they're less than double digit dogs on the road and don't play with that attitude they have as huge underdogs.

4)Ohio State and Iowa. I don't have any idea what to make of this game. Iowa looked awful and needed a miracle goal line stand against lowly Syracuse to eek out a win, but played without their star QB. Tate was shaky against in-state rival Iowa State, but pulled away late for the win and then put up less than 30 points aganist the Illinois defense that I think the 3 of us could pick apart for at least 45. So this explosive offense hasn't materialized for them yet. On the other hand, Ohio State, after dismantling Texas, has struggled for two straight weeks, scoring very late in the fourth quarter on freak INT returns or whatever they did in Cincinnati, so their final scores are all a little misleading. It's almost like they thought if they beat Texas, the championship was just going to be given to them. People thought their offense was going to run every other team out of the stadium with their speed, but aside from the Troy Smith to Ted Ginn connection, there hasn't been a lot of sprinting in Ohio State games. Their leading receiver is the tight end, though Ted Ginn has a sick 5 TDs in 16 rec. If Ohio State plays like they played in Austin, they're unbeatable. If they play like they played in Cincinnati or against Penn State, Iowa can steal this one from them. I think 2 close calls are enough for Tressel, and he reminds his boys that they still have to win every game they play before they'll give the championship to them. I want to take Iowa, but Ohio State pulls this out on the road, and beats the touchdown spread.

5) Oregon and Arizona State. Wow. Oregon is getting no respect for their tarnished win against Oklahoma, despite the fact that they played competitively against what many considered to be a top ten team for that entire game. Arizona State just got their shit handled by a rejuvenated Cal team. I've never seen an Arizona State home game on TV, but I've heard that they almost never sell out, so homefield advantage seems to play into this very little. If it were July and this game were at high noon, then you give the advantage to the team from the desert. It might be hot, yes, but that can't be the reason for this bizarre spread. I want to take Oregon, but I'm nervous about taking road favorites back to back. I thought Arizona State was the upstart team in the Pac-10 before last week, but now I don't know what to make of either team. I'll say Oregon plays with a chip on their shoulder because of the Oklahoma controversy and wins a squeaker, but covers on the road.

FLASH PICKS: Cal beats Oregon State, but Ore. State covers the spread at home. Those Oregon stadiums are tough places to win period, much less win big. LSU clobbers Mississippi State and tightens the noose another notch around Sylvester Croom's neck. I'll be shocked if MSU crosses the 50 yard line. Jamarcus Russell eats bad secondaries for lunch and has a huge game. LSU by at least 40. Michigan only giving 10 at Minnesota? Beware of betting against the home dog, but that line is too juicy to pass up. Michigan wins by 17. Temple and Vanderbilt. I can't believe Vandy is nearly a 5 touchdown favorite to beat anyone, even if it is Temple. Go Commodores! Win and a cover at home to please the 15 fans who showed up. Houston and Miami, oh my goodness, how the mighty have fallen. Miami loses at home and Larry Coker is lynched after the game, hung from the visiting team's uprights and set on fire. Half the players light their joints on the fire, the other half their crack pipes. Kansas State and Baylor, times sure are changing fast in college football. I hope one of the Baylor players or fans found this line and printed it and framed it, because they dont see it too often in a conference game. Hell, I picked Vandy to roll, Baylor wins at home and sends the cheerleaders home happy because most students forgot they had a team.

My pride picks will be in the comments to the original post with the lines. Come with it kids! The Virus has spoken!