Holy Sisterhood of the Travelling pants...I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not too familiar with this betting system but I wasn't that familiar with craps when I lost 50 bucks in 5 minutes either...weep...anyway...It's bowl season. Time to revisit all those teams you didn't get a chance to watch because your girlfriend wouldn't shut the fuck up about not spending enough time with her and so you spent your Thursdays (or as they call them on ESPN, "desperation-football nights") at Olive Garden wondering if coughin' up 7 bucks on a glass of cheap wine will get you a handjob or not. That or you were too busy watching re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond and wondering whether you'd look cool with one of those ridiculous Mr. T mohawks everyone in the NFL is rockin right now.

ANYWHO, if you've followed either of these teams you either have an amazing knack for stealing cable packages or you actually attend these places of study because I know JACK SHIT about Northern Illinois and even less about the horned frogs of Texas Christian. Besides they're goofy team-name of course. Soooooo after doing a little researchhhhhh this looks kinda like a no brainer...observe


Total Offense
TCU - 17th 404.50 ypg NIU - 24th 388,5 ypg
Total Defense
TCU - 4th 249.50 ypg NIU - 80th 357.08 ypg
Scoring Offense
TCU - 33rd 28.58 ppg NIU - 42nd 27 ppg
Scoring Defense
TCU - 5th 12.75 ppg NIU - 42nd 19.83 ppg
Run Offense
TCU - 9th 194.33 ypg NIU - 17th 180.17 ypg
Run Defense
TCU - 4th 67.58 ypg NIU - 34th 115.58 ypg
Pass Offense
TCU - 49th 210.17 ypg NIU - 50th 208.33 ypg
Pass Defense
TCU - 34th 189.92 ypg NIU - 104th 241.50 ypg
Turnover Margin
TCU - 27th 0.50 NIU - 43rd 0.25

In the immortal words of Mark Foley..."You ever heard of a cleveland bowtie, son?"

ahem...yeah...POINT BEING...it's true that this record was built on playing sub-par teams and that most of NIU's losses came at the hands of teams like Ohio State, Ohio (who played for the MAC championship) and Iowa, AND NIU'S Garrett Wolfe's starting to roll again after slumping mid-season but I'm just not buying the upset here. NIU has only one hope and that's that Wolfe manages to have a career game against the 4th ranked Run Defense in the country because otherwise they're putting the load on a second string quaterback who's still working out the kinks to lead them to victory. I think it'll stay pretty close until about the late 3rd quarter when TCU will finally break out and cover the spread.

I'm only putting 30 on TCU to cover because that's a hell of a spread and these no-name teams always seem to end up having the most memorable down to the wire endings, but I think that if the Horned Frogs can get off to a good start early that NIU can't hope to keep up points wise if they're relying on a ground attack.

thennnn I'm putting 80 on the Over - because regardless of the spread these little schools always tend to be like watching an And-1 mixtape...all offense.

THENNNNNN...well actually i'm not really sure how the money line works or if i'm supposed to be making an extra wager on that particular line buttttt i'm putting 80 on the Horned Frogs to pull the victory in this one right hyuh.

LET'S DANCE HOMIE.