WEEK 13 PICKS FROM RALPHVIRUS

Oh boy, back from last week's debacle and getting these picks in under the gun. Looks like Texas A & M hired a dump truck to play running back and Colt McCoy can't get his shit together yet, but who cares about Texas. The state that elected George Bush governor and president gets no love from me. Anyway, let's see if we can't do better than we did last week.

LSU @ Arkansas (Pk) - I'm really baffled at why LSU keeps getting these lines. It seems that everybody gets fooled into believing Jamarcus Russell is a big time quarterback and not just Daunte Culpepper II. I know LSU has a strong rush defense, but they haven't played anything like the two headed monster of McFadden and Jones. Nobody wants to believe Arkansas is for real because they got stomped by USC in the SEASON OPENER. Wake up people, the Razorbacks are for real and they knock out the only two loss team in the top 10.

Florida (-9) @ Florida State - Man, it's been a rough football season for the state of Florida this year. Miami has a total meltdown, leading to Coker FINALLY getting shitcanned, Florida State has a wretched year, culminating in a 30-0 loss to Wake Forest AT HOME, and Florida is about to get embarrassed by Arkansas in the SEC title game. I don't know why Florida is seriously being mentioned as a national title contender, because they're nowhere near as good as everybody wishes they were. They are, however, good enough to dispatch with this pathetic Florida State team. Florida takes this one by at least 10. Now I have to shower to wash the disgust off.

South Carolina @ Clemson (-6) - For Clemson, it's basically been however the run game goes, so goes the team. For South Carolina, nobody knows how it's going to go from one second to the next. Carolina put up a fight against the Gators a few weeks back, and Spurrier seems to really let lose against big time rivals, but I don't think the Gamecocks can slow down the rushing attack Clemson has, especially not in Death Valley. Clemson cruises here and easily covers.

Notre Dame @ USC (-7.5) - I'll admit that I had Notre Dame in my National Title game before the year started, and I had Brady Quinn as my Heisman winner. I still stand by the latter pick, as I think Quinn has much better numbers than Troy Smith, but the former pick I've cooled off on. That whipping by Michigan opened my eyes a bit, and the way Notre Dame has had to struggle to pull out wins against a couple of lesser opponents makes me wonder. ND hasn't played many high-caliber teams so far this year, and USC lost one fluky game they were ill-prepared for. USC has been insane since dropping to Oregon State, and now that they can start to smell that spot in the Championship Game, I don't see them falling off here at the end. USC for the win and the cover.

Wake Forest @ Maryland (-1) - Yikes. The two teams that burned us last weekend are now facing off for the Atlantic/Coastal (I can't keep them straight) ACC title and the right to play Georgia Tech in the ACC championship game. I can't even begin to break this down because both teams looked so awful last week. I'm going to give the edge to Wake because at least they lost to a decent team last week. Wake gets my only upset nod of the week.

I've gotta go see if Texas has pulled their thumbs out of their asses yet and decided to start playing. A quick note, somehow UGA is a 1.5 point favorite against Tech in Athens. Somebody might want to send those bookies a tape of the "highlights" UGA has put up in Sanford stadium this year. I would prefer it if this was at Grant Field since Richt turns into Superman on opponents home fields, but I guess we'll have to cringe through this one at Sanford. I am not enthusiastic about this.