WEEK 12 PICKS RALPHVIRUS

I've got the Jeezy sneaking up on me as we enter the homestretch and I'm near-famously awful at picking bowl games, so I need a cushion and I need it now. Before I get on with my selections, I have a couple of bones to pick. Jeezy gave a good rant about why Rutgers should be considered a national title contender, and I agree with all of his points. The problem as I see it is a bit deeper, though, and it involves the unspoken bias that currently exists in college football. I mean, for two consecutive weeks we had to listen to everybody on ESPN, ABC, CBS, NBC etc. pontificating about how West Virginia and Louisville were alternatingly worthy of appearing in the national championship game because the Big East wasn't a joke anymore and was a competitve conference with a lot of talent. Once Rutgers became the final unbeaten team in the Big East, all of a sudden the Big East isn't good enough anymore and Rutgers is unworthy. Why? My theory is that the sportscasters and anchors and analysts all have a bias against a team like Rutgers that has pretty much sucked for its entire existence and they aren't willing to part with their stupid notions of who the good and bad teams are. Point in case, Michigan has beaten 1 team in the top ten (when they faced them), and, coincidentally, so has Ohio State. Guess who else has that honor...RUTGERS! Whoever wins the Michigan/Ohio State game will have beaten 2 top 10 teams...if West Virginia stays unbeaten but lose December 2 to Rutgers, Rutgers will have likewise beaten 2 top 10 teams. Another example is Wake Forest. Before the Florida State/Wake Forest game, Lee Corso said Florida State was going to win "big." Why would he say that? Florida State has been unable to put points on the board all year long and Wake Forest's strength was their defense. Also, Florida State was treading water, barely staying around the .500 mark while Wake was 7-2. But, Wake Forest has historically been a wretched team and for the past decade or two, FSU was a really good team. So never mind what has been happening THIS SEASON, take the team that used to not suck. Wake won 30-0. Herbstreit also gave Arizona "zero percent chance of beating Cal." Wanna guess why? These guys forget that 5 years ago, before Jeff Tedford came to Cal and turned them around, nobody gave them a shot in hell the year they broke out. Everybody kept saying they're getting lucky, it'll run out soon. They went 10-1 that year. My point is very simple: in college football, a team shouldn't have to prove itself over a span of several years before they're given the benefit of the doubt. College Football has a very high turnover, and every year is unique, so it's completely unfair to discredit a team because they've not been good historically. Every other sport (and other divisions in college football) allows the teams to settle things on the field. The bias of analysts and sportscasters cannot get in the way because performance and overall record specify who gets to PLAY for the national title. With the poll and BCS system, too many reporters and talking heads make decisions about the worth of a team not by evaluating how good they are RIGHT NOW, but how good they've been the past few years. It's a colossal embarrassment for what I feel is one of the great sports in the country. We can get these old fashioned morons to come around on replay (which is another embarrassment, and which took several years for some of the stodgier analysts to come around to anyway), but you just try to take away their participation in proliferating this clusterfuck of a system and listen to how loud they scream (or cackle retardedly in the case of Craig James).

QUICK PICKS BECAUSE MY EDITORIAL WAS LONG AS FUCK

1) Michigan at Ohio State. I NAILED this line on the phone the other night, and now I wish I hadn't. 7 points sounded just right to me and since I'm not a pussy who opts for a tie, I don't know which way to lean. I'm going to say that the weakest conference in college football this year is either the Big 10 or the Big 12. Is the greatest game of all time? Hardly. Michigan has a very solid run defense, but Troy Smith has the ability to run and throw, and I think that's going to keep Michigan on their heels. Michigan has Manningham back and the solid/boring Mike Hart is still plugging away, but I don't trust Henne in these situatinos. Troy Smith wraps up one of the most unspectacular Heisman campaigns that I can remember and Ohio State wins and covers by a few.

2) Cal at USC. I don't know what to think about Cal anymore. Or USC, for that matter. USC has been a machine since going down to Oregon State, pasting Oregon in the process. Cal is the definition of a Jekyll and Hyde team. They got blown out by an unimpressive Tennessee team early on, and were absolutely stymied by Arizona, but in between they were the most impressive team in the country. Was last week a look ahead loss? Or did Cal run out of gas? I'm going to guess the former and probably cringe all night Saturday. Cal with the upset. New Jersey flips everybody off and goes back to being surly in a puddle of toxic waste.

3) Auburn at Alabama. This one is really easy for me. Alabama is not good this year. Auburn has their moments, and after that whipping by Georgia last week, ole Tommy is going to have his boys ready to go. Auburn pounds Alabama and wins really big, easily covering.

4) Maryland at BC. I don't know why I picked this game. I hate BC. I hate talking about BC. I hate watching BC. BC is the most boring team in college football. I'll take Maryland for the upset because the thought of cheering for BC makes me sick. Yeah, really insightful analysis, right? Fuck off.

5) Virginia Tech at Wake Forest. Another example of the bias I was talking about earlier. Wake is at home, they're 8-2, and they're underdogs. I'm a believer Wake! The Demon Deacons for the upset!

QUICK PICKS

Can I do these in one sentence? Let's find out!

West Virginia at Pittsburgh - I watched this game in Pittsburgh last year with my father-in-law who is a Pitt grad and I saw in that game the same terror I experienced in the Sugar Bowl last year. Pitt can't handle WVU's speed and WVU wins big.

Tenneessee at Vanderbilt - Goddamn I want Vandy to win this game, but I think they used up their karma for the year against Georgia. Crompton pulls it out in Nashville, but Vandy keeps it under the spread. (EDIT: Ainge will be starting this weekend. Don't care. Pick stands.)

Arkansas at Mississippi State - Lines like this make me miss gambling. Arkansas by 4 TDs. SYLVESTER CROOM NOOSE (oh please come back Travis...I miss you! <3 )

Miami at Virginia - What a train wreck for Miami this year. Insult to injury? Nah. Miami salvages some pride and wins by at least seven.

Next week, RIVALRY WEEK MOTHERFUCKERS.