Long ago, when dragons that spit lasers roamed the lands, Steve Perry rode pterodactyls made of knives through righteous lightning storms, and Nebraska wasn’t a laughable football program, two brothers were immaculately conceived in an 81 Datsun in the shadow of Sanford Stadium with one destiny: to return football commentary to its old form; obsessive, cruel, full of errors, and substance abuse and dick jokes. And there's John who's a Miami fan, so we were surprised he could even spell.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Ok ok, just quick retorts while i'm sober. Were neither of you guys near a television set with ESPN? Cuz I DID see the last part of the Oklahoma/Oregon game and either it was on ESPN, ESPN2, or all the cheap beer i've ingested has created a John-Travolta-Phenomenon-esque tumor in my skull that bestows magical powers upon me. I hate to say it since I did pick the Ducks in that game but those referees shouldn't be suspended so much as they should be forced to let Sooner fans put out lit cigarettes on their genitalia for the next week and a half. Here's the thing, they shortened college football, the only thing on this planet I would pass up sex for, to make room for the new video review bullshit that makes the NFL so damn annoying nowadays and what do you know...not only did the system fail but it failed in such a way that it cost a better team a game that without those calls they would have won. True, Oklahoma had a chance to take the lead back and win the game but blew it on that blocked kick, but they should have never been put in that situation. Don't get me wrong, I'm no sooner fan. I wouldn't step foot across the Oklahoma border if Natalie Portman was swimming nude in a pool filled with bacon and Pabst Blue Ribbon, buttttt they should have won the game. Plain and simple. The two RIDICULOUS calls, which were both reviewed and allowed anyway were the stupidest thing a referee has done since Mills Lane decided it would be a good idea to get a courtroom TV Show. If those refs are that incompetent than good riddance. I can't imagine a team out there that would want those guys calling their game. The NCAA really needs to scrap this video review crap before the greatest thing America has going for it gets just as aggravating and boring to watch as the NFL or Arena Football. Hell, I say let's extend the game to 14 hours, let the players use flamethrowers and ninja stars, and put all that money you saved by pawning those video review machines into research for a way to make college football an aphrodisiac to women. Problem solved.
As far as Reggie Bush is concerned, he should have his heisman stripped for making those ridiculous Diet Pepsi commercials. He and his New Orleans offense are going to have much bigger problems then oversized trophies if John Abraham gets healthy for next week. I might even make it all the way through that game without falling asleep. And Johnboy, I have to agree with you about Cold Pizza. Will someone PLEASE bring Kenny Mayne back to ESPN? I know he needs work, i see his insurance commercials eight times a day. You're slippin sportscenter.

1 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

My bad about the Ore/OK game. The news came on, I had a stroke, and since there weren't any other games listed on my channel guide, I went straight to Seinfeld until the Clem/FSU kickoff. If they announced, I probably didn't hear it, since I usually listen to my iPod when watching football so I don't jam icepicks in my ears from the color analysts (not analysts of color...don't sue me). On all other points, especially the replay, I'm in full agreement. I'll probably post something long-winded about it soon enough.

12:47 PM

 

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